A popular phrase reads: "Opinions are like noses: everyone has one" ; and it is very true. There is nothing wrong with saying wha...
A popular phrase reads: "Opinions are like noses: everyone has one"; and it is very true. There is nothing wrong with saying what you think about something; If they ask you, it is because they are interested in what you have to say. The point is that it is our duty to know how to give it because we can hurt emotionally, unintentionally, the person concerned.
We were all victims at times of a similar situation; one that is given without a hint of prudence and that hurts you deeply.
For example: suppose you want to buy a pair of pants and you go in the company of a friend. You need an honest opinion to know how the garment fits you. You walk out of the dressing room and begin to feel uncomfortable under his scrutinizing gaze. Suddenly she lets go: "Didn't I tell you you're very thin? I don't know, you really look like a clothespin. You didn't put it on, you hung it up ».
Your reaction is to be surprised, and who isn't? You know your friend is very direct, but even she knows that she went out of line with the comment. You go back into the dressing room and take off your garment very discouraged and leave the store pretending to smile. Yes, you know you lost weight because the semester was very difficult, but you never expected such appreciation.
Everything is reason to give an opinion, sometimes without being asked. The problem is not what is said, but how it is said; and that's where people fail.
No one is infallible, it happened to all of us and it will happen. What we can do to avoid hurting someone with our opinions; is to think before speaking. Now, if what we want is to avoid being damaged by the opinion of others, we can well take into account several points:
1 It is beyond our ability to please everyone
Since they are all so different, it is natural that some of your tastes do not match those of others. You don't look like anyone, not even your twin brother if you had one. That does not have to be a problem for you or for the person who thinks and feels differently from you.
You can only do one thing: ask for respect and treat others with respect. In addition, you can always stay away from people who do not have the tact to say things, whoever they are, what matters is that you do not allow others to go beyond the limits of coexistence that every relationship should have.
2 You can't control what others think of you
And that is precisely why it is not worth giving importance to a comment made by someone who may not even know you.
3 What is thought of someone changes over time
Likewise. This is what happens with memories, they change with time and life experiences. So whoever thinks you are unpleasant today, tomorrow may be attracted to you. Let's see, this does not mean that you are going to let him in or not; that is already your decision; your opinions about others and things also change.
4 You have power over what affects you or not
This is very important that you take it into account. Just as the opinions of one person are going to hurt you more than those of others; You can also control what you allow to bother or hurt you.
This can only be done with a little practice; Over time you will only take into account what is useful to you from the opinions of others because you will be the only one benefited or harmed by what you do with your life.
5 They are a waste of time
Some opinions are not given with good intentions. However, giving it importance, more than it deserves is a valuable waste of attention and time.
To make matters worse, negative opinions can derail you from what is really important; your relationship, your family, your job and even your health.
6 Try to take the good and throw the bad away
Let's be frank, there are good and bad opinions. Choose the one that is a wake-up call to evolve, to improve yourself and to make you a better version of yourself.
Asking for an opinion is seeking approval
We all want to fit into a group, it's natural. Nobody wants to be new in any place or group. It is also a fact that sometimes you will want the approval of a person or a group. The situation is that it is not always going to be achieved and you will have to learn to deal with this.
The important point is that as long as your self-esteem is strong and does not falter at the first negative observation, you will be able to stay on your feet.
It is not beneficial at all to mould your way of being to please someone; for your approval. Better still, people appreciate and value more that you are genuine, without poses or masks; Anyway, these can fall and leave us in evidence. It is better to show yourself as you are.
Remember, the opinions of others are built on half information from you. You should not give them more importance than they have, take the good and forget the negative. Do not give them too many laps because you are going to miss what is really worth it.