The end of a relationship does not take us by surprise even if it seems like it. There are always signs that things are going downhill; the problem is that by not wanting to give ourselves to pain, we deny the obvious.
Refusing to end a love that has already died is a great mistake. The reason is that even if you want to delay "to see if things get better," both of you are being unhappy along the way.
Other than that, it is an act of selfishness. We gain nothing by stretching a moment, clinging to the good times, those where there was love.
Why this eagerness to prolong a relationship that is already dead?
There are many reasons.
The first is the fear of loneliness
After years of living together, it is natural that you get used to the presence of your love. The mere fact of thinking about all the moments lived and everything that you are going to miss him, makes you shudder. You refuse to face that uncertainty and that is why you cling with all your strength to that person who unfortunately no longer loves you.
The second is uncertainty
The fear lies in not knowing if you will find someone to love again. It may seem absurd, but many people refuse to end a relationship because of it. The situation is that if you don't end a relationship, you won't be able to give yourself a new chance at love.
The third is the fear of suffering
I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. Nothing hurts more than the fact that you end or end a relationship. It doesn't matter that the breakup was by mutual agreement, it hurts and is inevitable.
Facing that pain and overcoming it tends to be tiresome and slow. It is a long and lonely process, because no matter how many friends accompany or advise you, only you know what you are feeling.
The fourth is the expectation of what was not
During the relationship it is natural for the couple to make plans for the future; maybe even the idea of marriage, family and children. When the relationship ends, all those plans are lost. There may even be a certain feeling of selfishness; Knowing that this person is going to carry out those plans, but with someone who is not you, makes you unhappy.
The harm of putting off at last
Let's clarify something, for a love relationship to be such, there must be affection, complicity, desire, desire to care. There is also respect, loyalty and quality of life. It is because of all these characteristics that we notice when that love came to an end.
Extending a relationship that is no longer a relationship is harmful because you lose time and self-love. Besides that, you lose respect and expose yourself to mutual mistreatment in an effort to recover what you can no longer rescue.
There is no worse loneliness than being next to someone who no longer cares about you. It is being ignored and fighting for attention; It is like screaming in an empty and dark place from which nobody is going to take you out, only you.
The saddest thing is that the longer you lengthen the moment of the end, the more opportunities you lose to be happy, either alone or with someone.
When you finally make up your mind and take the step
Trust me, deciding to take that final, definitive step is scary. It is that before you a wide path opens; However, that goodbye is the closure you needed to move forward.
I'm not telling you that it's going to be that simple. At first, you will feel fear, but do not be fooled. With the days will come that feeling of peace that more than helping you walk fast, it almost takes you floating. The reason is that you took a bitter weight off your shoulders.
As time goes by, you will recover your true self. You feel the strength again to get ready again. New plans emerge to meet your stagnant goals; And the best part, when you look in the mirror you begin to recognize again that woman/man that you left behind for a long time.
Then you will start to reconsider giving love a new chance. Your ex-partner becomes a memory, a relationship from which you learned a million things. You know that you learned things that helped you to be a better person and others that you will not repeat again. You also learned the kind of love you aspire to, the kind of man or woman you want to have in your life. As someone who says: "With each failure comes learning and profit."
Love always comes again
Whenever you are open to giving yourself a new chance at love, it will come into your life again. It will offer you new things, challenge you and open up to getting to know you better. You will learn to love and you will teach the way you want to be loved; And if he or she is the ultimate, then you will no longer be tempted to prolong the end by your old fears, the ultimate love has arrived.
I can finally tell you that if you had to go through that situation, you are someone very brave. Few have the courage to persevere so much for someone they love; However, remember that before loving another, what prevails is the love you have for yourself; This will define how much you will make them love and respect you.
Remember: you cannot love someone, demand that they love you if you do not love yourself first.